Saturday, November 18, 2017

Elephants, Lions and Tigers, Oh My!

[Your meeting, renamed from Emergency! to All Hands on Deck to Weekly Update to Daily Fire Drill to F***ing Moron did it again has been sent.] 
[TRex has joined]
[GeneralS has joined]
[EPASucks has joined] 
[ConWoman has joined]
TRex: Elephant heads?  What the F***?
TRex: Wait, What the F*** happened?  Who put the F***ing nanny F***ing filter on?
ConWoman: I want to know why no one is talking about how Hillary F***ed the American Indians.  The discussion is focused on the Keystone pipeline, but not one media station is covering how Hillary drove through the midwest in 1914 and that is what caused the energy shortage in the US and the Great Depression.
PressSexy: What?
ConWoman: Those are the alternate facts that only FoxyFriends will cover.
PressSexy: Seriously, you're gonna hit me with that sh** first thing in the morning before my first fifth?  Get out of here!
ConWoman: Gotta run, have an interview on the CNN affiliate in in Puerto Rico!  I'm back on top BABY!
PressSexy: They don't have power in Puerto Rico.
ConWoman: I'm BACK BABY!
[ConWoman has left]
[FoxyFriends has joined]
FoxyFriends; What's up my bitches? Where's C, I got a hot scoop for her.
PressSexy: She's going to Puerto Rico.
FoxyFriends: Isn't that in Cuba?  Anyway, Elephant heads, pretty cool huh?
Trex: What the F*** are you doing to us?
FoxyFriends: Relax babe.  It's all cool.  We're using that to distract the from the deductions for private jets!  BRILLIANT!
TRex: F***ing elephant heads?
[ThirdFirstL has joined]
ThirdFirstL: F***ing elephant heads?  and who the f*** eez Zinke?
TRex: I don't f***ing know.  I gave up after DEVOs.
PressSexy: He's the interior something.
TRex: Why the F*** is he talking about elephant heads
GeneralS: Exactly! I'm the one he should be talking to about head!
ThirdFirstL: What???
GeneralS: Nothing.  Ignore that.  I don't recall saying it.
[GeneralS has left]
ThirdFirstL: What did he mean?
TRex: Don't worry.  He'll be gone soon.
PressSexy: F***, I'm outta Jack, y'all.  Is there a press briefing today?  Gawd I hate those F***ers.
ThirdFirstL: It's Saturday.
PressSexy: You're sh**ing me!  What happened to Thursday?  Did I black out again?
[ZMan has joined]
Zman: When did I become in charge of elephant heads?
ThirdFirstL: Who are you?
Zman: Interior or something. I think I'm supposed to approve all the oil drilling.
TRex: I do the oil drilling!
PressSexy: No, you do foreign oil.
ThirdFirstL: I hear him coming,  He's making choo choo sounds.  He's hungry.
[ThirdFirstL has left]

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