We'll miss you...

[Your meeting, renamed from Emergency! to All Hands on Deck to Weekly Update to Daily Fire Drill to F***ing Moron did it again has been sent.] 
[TRex has joined]
[GeneralS has joined]
[ThirdFirstL has joined]
[FoxyFriends has joined]
FoxyFriends: Rexxy!  I'm going to miss you!  Oh, yeah, what's up bitches?
TRex: What?
FoxyFriends: Didn't you hear?  You're getting fired?
TRex: F***
PressSexy: What the f*** are you talking about?
Foxyfriends: You guys didn't know?  Forget I said anything.  You didn't hear it from me.
TRex: Son if a B***H
PressSexy: Where did you hear that?
FoxyFriends: Shhhhhh.  You heard nuthin.
[FoxyFriends has left]

Gigglebump

[Your meeting, renamed from Emergency! to All Hands on Deck to Weekly Update to Daily Fire Drill to F***ing Moron did it again has been sent.] 
[TRex has joined]
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PressSexy: GIGGLEBUMPS!
TRex: Pardon me?
PressSexy: What the Gigglebumps? I am not typing gigglebumps.
FoxyFriends: What's up mu wamplenorbes? How do you like the new nanny filter?
PressSexy: You gigglebumping jackBeanerwomp.  What did you do?
FoxyFriends: I made is so grumpy ole Rexy isn't so grumpy.  Cool, eh?
TRex: gigglebumps, Great balls of pubblejump!
FoxyFriends: I know.  How can anyone be grumpy with gigglebumps flying around?
TRex: turn this gigglebumpsing filter off right now!
FoxyFriends: You are so cuuuuuuuuuuuute!  Oh, I have a surprise for you guys.
PressSexy: Seriously Foxy, this is not a joke!
FoxyFriends: So, I dared one of my colleagues to tweet we should bomb North Kor!
GeneralS: Are you gigglebumpsing insane?  You know the gigglebumpsing moron bases all his policies on Fox!
FoxyFriends: I know!  The was a real sphincter pucker this morning, wasn't it?  Wow, sphincter isn't censored?  I know what my new blog is going to be.
[ConWoman has joined]
ConWoman: Did you see those videos? Hi Foxy, loved the tweet this morning! I heard the whole Pentagon squeal this morning!
FoxyFriends: Oh baby! You have no idea.  Han was in the fallout bunker all morning! 
PressSexy: You idiots!  You know how unstable he is.
ThirdFirstL: Vy is zee gigglebumpsing moron running around pressing all zee red buttons?  He keeps yelling, "Respect my authority!"
FoxyFriends: That is so him!  Take a vid! take a vid!! TAKE A VID!!!
ThirdFirstL: Vat did you do, Foxy?
FoxyFriends: Read above  ^
ThirdFirstL: You are the sick!  I love you!
FoxyFriends: Girlfriend, you know it.
ThirdFirstL: I haven't had this much fun since I hid his meds for a week.  He was yelling at the sofa all week.  He thought his desk was Barney and kept singing "I love you."
PressSexy: Can we please get back to the videos?
TRex: What about them?
FoxyFriends: No worries about them. My personal friend sent them.  They are tots valid.
PressSexy: Oh gigglebumps
TRex: gigglebumps
[FoxyFriends has left]

Pocahontas

[Your meeting, renamed from Emergency! to All Hands on Deck to Weekly Update to Daily Fire Drill to F***ing Moron did it again has been sent.] 
[TRex has joined]
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[FoxyFriends has joined]
PressSexy: Pocafuckinhontas???  Why does he do this shit to me? 
TRex: Calm-
PressSexy: Don't you dare tell me to calm down you f***ing dinosaur!  There are 30 crazy-ass reporters out there and he gives me Pocahontas?  My kid spews less shit than comes out of his mouth.  And it makes more sense! POCA-F***INK-HONTAS!
ThirdFirstL: Now, eet eez not zat bad.
PressSexy:You can't post on Facebook!  For 2 F***ING years, we've been saying, Christmas is back! No more Happy Holidays s**t.  What do you do????  F***ING Happy Holidays! It's a GOD DAMN Christmas Card that is suppose to show the spirit of the Christmas and manipulate those f***ing fundamentalists!  Jesus Christ!
ThirdFirstL: But
PressSexy: Don't but me.  Here, it's simple.  You know how you dropped your clothes for pictures?  Happy Holidays is your clothes.  DROP THEM.  Merry Christmas is that bear skin rug.  WRAP your self in it.  How F***ING hard is it to get some GOD DAMN religion in F***ING-Christmas?
ThirdFirstL: You can't talk to me zat way!
PressSexy: Listen up.  You're one visit away from immigration and trip back home to Russia.
TRex: Slovenia
PressSexy: F*** off, T.  I've got a killer hangover and I haven't seen a real meal in months.  DO you know what it does to you when you drink your breakfast?  I don't even have time to taste lunch.  I have to chug it and then go out and talk to those bastards!  Dinner?  What the hell is dinner?  Bloody Mary's because the Nazi Dr is riding ma ass about vegetables.
TRex: GeneralS, talk to her.
GeneralS: I do not recall attending this meeting.
PressSexy: Great!  What else could go f***ing wrong today?
FoxyFriends: What up my bitches????
PressSexy: I'll kill her.  Right here and now.  No one will care.  We'll just turn static on and F***ing moron will think it's a snow storm.
FoxyFriends: Don't you want the good news?
PressSexy: Sure, hit me.
FoxyFriends: the pussy grabbing tape.  It's a fake!
TRex: What?
GeneralS: The tapes at my hearings were fake too!
PressSexy: If this is a trick.
FoxyFriends: No! He said they were doctored.
Pressexy: THe same tapes he admitted to?
FoxyFriends: Yes!
PressSexy: The same tapes that match his voice?
FoxyFriends: Yes!!
PressSexy: These are the tapes were be bragged about grabbing women by the pussy?
FoxyFriends: Yes!  All fake!
PressSexy: He has proof?
FoxyFriends: Of Course.  Undoubtable proof!
PressSexy: Oh f**k, let me guess.  His proof is he said so.
FoxyFriends: It is air tight!  I've already leaked it to the press and they are on board.
PressSexy: I hate you.  With the little part of my soul I still have, I hate you. 
TRex: We can cancel the press conference.
PressSexy: Are you kidding?  I got this down to a system.  I get drunk, go out and lie for 20 minutes and they ask f***ing stupid questions.  I don't see why they are surprised.  The F***ing Moron lies. SpiceMan lied.  I Lie, everyone here lies.  Why in the hell would they expect anything different?  I'm outta here ya'll.  I need my cheery juice.
[PressSexy has left]

Person of the Year

Dailydialogs is back after a short break!

[Your meeting, renamed from Emergency! to All Hands on Deck to Weekly Update to Daily Fire Drill to F***ing Moron did it again has been sent.] 
[TRex has joined]
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FoxyFriends: Time Man of the Year!  This is great news!
TRex: Did Time really call him?
FoxyFriends: He said they did, so it has to be true. MAGA!  We're going to spend hours on this!
PressSexy: Let's not get ahead of ourselves.  We still need to eat my pecan pie.
FoxyFriends: That's a bulls**t picture.  You didn't make that!
TRex: Now Foxy, there's no need for that.
PressSexy: Thanks T.  I make great pies.
FoxyFriends: Did you see your last press conference?  You can't even put your makeup on straight.  How in the f*** are you going to make a circular pie.  You are fake news, b***h
GeneralS: Foxy, we're on the same team here.
FoxyFriends: Like you and the Russians?
GeneralS: I don't recall knowing any Russians.
FoxyFriends: That is getting old.  Hey, wait,Time is calling ME!
TRex: S, did Foxy get into your special coffee?
PressSexy: No way, I drank it all to take the edge off this morning. 
GenealS: Special coffee?  If that like a special prosecutor?  Is Mueller calling me???
PressSexy: No, munchin.  My special coffee is 100 proof.
FoxyFriends: Holy S**T.  I'm Time's Person of the Year!  I'm doing the interview and photo shoot!
TRex: Foxy, what the f**k are you talking about.  Someone turn off this d**n nanny filter!
[FoxyFriends has dialed in]
FoxyFriends: What's up my bitches?
TRex: Why doesn't she have the f***ing nanny filter?
FoxyFriends: Oh s**t
FoxyFriends: Why are there 2 of me on?
PressSexy: Did you log out last night?
FoxyFriends: I've been hacked!  Pelosi is behind this! Schumer!
TRex: Calm down.  Shep, that's you, right?
FoxyFriends: I just wanted to be a part of the team! But I'm never invited!  F*** you all!
[FoxyFriends has left]
FoxyFriends: What happened?
TRex: Shep Smith used your account.
FoxyFriends: Son of a B***H.  That was low, even for a conservative.
PressSexy: My pies are done.  Gotta run
FoxyFriends; You can't cook.  You can't even put on your makeup straight. Where did you buy them from?
[PressySexy has left]

Sound of Silence

[Your meeting, renamed from Emergency! to All Hands on Deck to Weekly Update to Daily Fire Drill to F***ing Moron did it again has been sent.] 
[TRex has joined]
[GeneralS has joined]
[ThirdFirstL has joined]
[FoxyFriends has joined]
TRex: What happened?
PressSexy: I don't know.  Did his phone break?
GeneralS: I saw him with it this morning.
TRex: It's been over 24 hours without a tweet.
FoxyFriends: I'm scared, my bitches.  This isn't normal.
FBINew has joined:
JimmyC: Is the world ending?
ConWoman has joined
ConWoman: It's too quiet!  How can I spin when he's quiet?
PressSexy: CNN hasn't changed their headlines all day.  It's like Groundhog Day, but every hour!!
[EPASucks has joined]
EPASucks: Did the sun explode?  Why don't people tell me anything? I thought I was supposed to destroy the planet.
[ZMan has joined]
Zman: f***ing hell. what's going on? It's been 24 hours and no tweet?  Did Putin take away his phone privileges?
PressSexy: No, He just called to see if TRex took it and to tell the f***ing moron where the emergency spare was.
ThirdFirstL: Relax everyone.  I DVRed all the Dora the Explorers and told him Disney was running a marathon.  He's been in his onesie all night eating icecream and watching it. 
PressSexy: HOLY F*** that is GENIUS!
TRex: You are my f***ing hero!
ThirdFirstL: He eez so excited to see the turkeys too.  Every time he comes back for ice cream, he's making zee gobbling sounds. It reminds me of when we first met and he took too much Viagra.   He turned to cutest shade of blue and sputtered for hours!
FoxyFriends: F***ing Hells to the Yeah! All the guys here take that s**t.  We call it Viagra-gate!
ThirdFirstL: Gotta run!  Here he comes.  Aw, he's clucking.  He forgot that turkey's cluck.
[ThirdFirstL has left]
ConWoman: I'm going to call CNN and explain how HC wants to let millions of illegal Turkey refugees in.
[ConWoman has left]
TRex: She does know that we're talking about the birds, not the people, right?
PressSexy: Gawd, who knows? That woman is bat shit crazy.  I'm going to start happy hour early.
GeneralS: Don't you have the daily briefing soon?
PressSexy: Yes. That's why I'm drinking now.
[PressSexy has left]
[Meeting has ended]

Rage Tweet

Group text sent.
PressSexy:  Get his phone!
TRex: It's not my day to watch him.  Check with GeneralS.  I think he got the short straw.
GeneralS: I am not short! Most 14-year olds are my height.
TRex: What????
GeneralS: That was meant for BanTheMall.
GeneralS: I don't have to watch him till after the special election.
JimmyC: Hold on guys, I'm replying...
PressSexy: Don't!  Come on!
JimmyC: Who's the bitch now?
FoxyFriends: What's up bitches?
FoxyFriends: Not cool, Jimmy!  That's my line.
PressSexy: Foxy, are you watching him tonight?
FoxyFriends: No way, We gotta a special show for tomorrow!
JimmyC: Lots of research?
FoxyFriends: LMAO!!!  You are hilarious, Jimmy.  You know we don't do dat s**t.
PressSexy: Who's watching the f***ing moron then?
PressSexy: JimmyC, delete the text.  You know we can't update the list.
JimmyC: No way. I love seeing what I'm missing.
ThirdFirstL:  Quick disable his phone.  He found where I hid it and is running amok!
PressSexy: Go get it from him!
ThirdFirstL: I can't.  I've already started my beauty regiment.
TRex: He's running through the Rose Garden.
JimmyC:  One word...  TOAST!
PressSexy: That's it.  I'm cancelling the press briefings for this week!  F***ers are gonna be all over this.
FoxyFriends: Don't worry, we got your back!
PressSexy: Oh great... My liver hates you.
FoxyFriends: That's funny.  Sell your liver with your soul.  That's what we did.
GeneralS: Why is he tweeting about Obama?
TRex: What???
GeneralS: "Sen. Jeff Flake(y), who is unelectable in the Great State of Arizona (quit race, anemic polls) was caught (purposely) on “mike” saying bad things about your favorite President."
TRex:  F***ing moron is talking about himself in the third person again!
PressSexy: Doesn't he understand his base can barely comprehend first person? Gawd, I wish he was talking about Obama.  I was sober most of those years.

Cindy

[Your meeting, renamed from Emergency! to All Hands on Deck to Weekly Update to Daily Fire Drill to F***ing Moron did it again has been sent.] 
[TRex has joined]
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Cheesehead: What's up yous guys?
PressSexy: Who the f*** is Cindy?
TRex: How do we f***ing turn off the f***ing nanny f***ing filter?
PressSexy: I checked, we can't turn it off.  Moore found it morally offensive.
TRex: For f***'s sake! That's offensive, but he's good with dating a 14-year old?
CheeseHead: Cindy will get a $700 raise under my tax plan!
TRex: Is she 14 too?
CheeseHead: she's a single mother and she only wants the $700 tax cut..
[FoxyFriends has joined]
FoxyFriends: What's up my bitches?  Cindy is so rocking that tax cut!
CheeseHead: For sure!
PressSexy:  Doesn't she have a child?
Cheesehead: Yes, and that $700 will come in very handy for essentials
PressSexy: But you let CHIP expire. 
CheeseHead: They don't need that with the $700 raise!
PressSexy: And student loans aren't deductible?
CheeseHead: The $700 covers that too!
PressSexy: And her mortgage can't be deducted...
CheeseHead: $700 raise!!
PressSexy:  What about school lunches?
CheeseHead: You're missing the point. Cindy get's $700 free money!
PressSexy: Cindy is  getting a 34 cents an hour raise under your play.  That is going to pay for health insurance, school lunches, her mortgage, student loans, any health emergencies?
CheeseHead: Of course!  I know taxes!
PressSexy: This is why I f***ing drink so much.  And it's still not enough.
[PressSexy has left]

Elephants, Lions and Tigers, Oh My!

[Your meeting, renamed from Emergency! to All Hands on Deck to Weekly Update to Daily Fire Drill to F***ing Moron did it again has been sent.] 
[TRex has joined]
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[EPASucks has joined] 
[ConWoman has joined]
TRex: Elephant heads?  What the F***?
TRex: Wait, What the F*** happened?  Who put the F***ing nanny F***ing filter on?
ConWoman: I want to know why no one is talking about how Hillary F***ed the American Indians.  The discussion is focused on the Keystone pipeline, but not one media station is covering how Hillary drove through the midwest in 1914 and that is what caused the energy shortage in the US and the Great Depression.
PressSexy: What?
ConWoman: Those are the alternate facts that only FoxyFriends will cover.
PressSexy: Seriously, you're gonna hit me with that sh** first thing in the morning before my first fifth?  Get out of here!
ConWoman: Gotta run, have an interview on the CNN affiliate in in Puerto Rico!  I'm back on top BABY!
PressSexy: They don't have power in Puerto Rico.
ConWoman: I'm BACK BABY!
[ConWoman has left]
[FoxyFriends has joined]
FoxyFriends; What's up my bitches? Where's C, I got a hot scoop for her.
PressSexy: She's going to Puerto Rico.
FoxyFriends: Isn't that in Cuba?  Anyway, Elephant heads, pretty cool huh?
Trex: What the F*** are you doing to us?
FoxyFriends: Relax babe.  It's all cool.  We're using that to distract the from the deductions for private jets!  BRILLIANT!
TRex: F***ing elephant heads?
[ThirdFirstL has joined]
ThirdFirstL: F***ing elephant heads?  and who the f*** eez Zinke?
TRex: I don't f***ing know.  I gave up after DEVOs.
PressSexy: He's the interior something.
TRex: Why the F*** is he talking about elephant heads
GeneralS: Exactly! I'm the one he should be talking to about head!
ThirdFirstL: What???
GeneralS: Nothing.  Ignore that.  I don't recall saying it.
[GeneralS has left]
ThirdFirstL: What did he mean?
TRex: Don't worry.  He'll be gone soon.
PressSexy: F***, I'm outta Jack, y'all.  Is there a press briefing today?  Gawd I hate those F***ers.
ThirdFirstL: It's Saturday.
PressSexy: You're sh**ing me!  What happened to Thursday?  Did I black out again?
[ZMan has joined]
Zman: When did I become in charge of elephant heads?
ThirdFirstL: Who are you?
Zman: Interior or something. I think I'm supposed to approve all the oil drilling.
TRex: I do the oil drilling!
PressSexy: No, you do foreign oil.
ThirdFirstL: I hear him coming,  He's making choo choo sounds.  He's hungry.
[ThirdFirstL has left]

Most Mornings

I would imagine this is how most mornings start for the Inner Circle:

[Your meeting, renamed from Emergency! to All Hands on Deck to Weekly Update to Daily Fire Drill to Fucking Moron did it again has been sent.]
[TRex has joined]
[GeneralS has joined]
[EPASucks has joined]
TRex: What now?
PressSexy: Check your twitter.
TRex: Hold on.
EPASucks: According to Corinthians 2-
PressSexy: Shut up!
EPASucks: but-
TRex: Boy Scout shut up!
[GeneralS has joined]
GeneralS: I don't recall having a meeting at this time.
PressSexy: We have this meeting every day at this time now.
GeneralS: I have a lot of meetings, but I don't recall this one.
EPASucks: Carbon dioxide emissions have not been directly tied to memory loss.
PressSexy: Shut it, S.  I'm too drunk and too tired to deal with you right now.
TRex: The F***ing Moron watched FoxyFriends again this morning, didn't he?
[ThirdFirstL has joined]
TRex: It's about time you joined.  You were supposed to set all the TVs to the Disney Channel.  What happened?
ThirdFirstL: He must have started pushing buttons.  You know how he likes to grab things!
PressSexy: Yeah.
GeneralS: Yeah
ThirdFirstL:  What?
GeneralS: Nothing, ignore that.  I don't recall saying it.
[FoxyFriends has joined]
FoxyFriends: What's up my bitches!
Trex: You saw his tweet this morning.
FoxyFriends: Oh yeahhhhhhhhhhh.  I called him and told him how to change the channel! He was watching Dora, but once she got over the mountain, he changed it.
PressSexy: Why didn't you warn us?
FoxyFriends: Where's the fun in that? Oh wait, he's tweeting again.  Gotta go special segment coming out NOW!
[FoxyFriends has left]
PressSexy: I'm not drunk enough for this
EPASucks: Alcohol is the leading contributor to-
[PressSexy has left]
[Trex has left]
[ThirdFirstL has left]
EPASucks: Hello?
GeneralS: What are we talking about?
[EPASucks has left]
GeneralS Hello?

Cast of Characters

PressSexy: Abandoned her lucrative career as the highly qualified child of a failed political leader to take up the reins of another failed political leader.  Once a shining star in Washington DC, her orbit is more concerned with the next several drinks.

TRex: The no-nonsense leader of foreign policy.  Mainly known for coming up with the name fucking moron.

Fucking Moron: While never actually appearing in the dialogs, he is without a doubt the true hero and he driving force behind many of the dialogs.

ThirdFirstL: The vapid arm piece that will endorse anything as long as a photo op is included.

GeneralS:  Once a renowned Senator, he now leads the justice system with inspiring quotes that are followed with "I don't recall saying that."

FoxyFriends: The single most influential voice in shaping U.S. policies.  All dialogs from her should be read with the voice of Tiny Tina from the Borderlands game.  If you are not familiar, here's some samples.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HD4WrEpO_JA 

FBINew: For some reason, they just can't get the meeting invites updated to the new director.  JimmyC usually answers these meetings.

JimmyC:  Means well, he really does.  The problem is, he's honest and that doesn't go over well on either side.

ConWOman: Can spin ANYTHING and we mean ANYTHING anyway.  Has enriched the American English language with new words like alternate facts.

EPAsucks: has a lot on his plate as he tries to disprove climate change using only biblical quotes.

Zman: has the important job of making sure that U.S. parks remain in their pristine condition do oil mining companies can print off stunning brochures.

CheeseHead: From Wisconsin and knows everything about taxes and leading the House!

BanTheMall: Making headlines in the special election in a southern state.  As someone said, it should be harder to get into the Senate than J.C. Penny.  BanTheMall proves it's not.