Cast of Characters

PressSexy: Abandoned her lucrative career as the highly qualified child of a failed political leader to take up the reins of another failed political leader.  Once a shining star in Washington DC, her orbit is more concerned with the next several drinks.

TRex: The no-nonsense leader of foreign policy.  Mainly known for coming up with the name fucking moron.

Fucking Moron: While never actually appearing in the dialogs, he is without a doubt the true hero and he driving force behind many of the dialogs.

ThirdFirstL: The vapid arm piece that will endorse anything as long as a photo op is included.

GeneralS:  Once a renowned Senator, he now leads the justice system with inspiring quotes that are followed with "I don't recall saying that."

FoxyFriends: The single most influential voice in shaping U.S. policies.  All dialogs from her should be read with the voice of Tiny Tina from the Borderlands game.  If you are not familiar, here's some samples.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HD4WrEpO_JA 

FBINew: For some reason, they just can't get the meeting invites updated to the new director.  JimmyC usually answers these meetings.

JimmyC:  Means well, he really does.  The problem is, he's honest and that doesn't go over well on either side.

ConWOman: Can spin ANYTHING and we mean ANYTHING anyway.  Has enriched the American English language with new words like alternate facts.

EPAsucks: has a lot on his plate as he tries to disprove climate change using only biblical quotes.

Zman: has the important job of making sure that U.S. parks remain in their pristine condition do oil mining companies can print off stunning brochures.

CheeseHead: From Wisconsin and knows everything about taxes and leading the House!

BanTheMall: Making headlines in the special election in a southern state.  As someone said, it should be harder to get into the Senate than J.C. Penny.  BanTheMall proves it's not.