Pocahontas

[Your meeting, renamed from Emergency! to All Hands on Deck to Weekly Update to Daily Fire Drill to F***ing Moron did it again has been sent.] 
[TRex has joined]
[GeneralS has joined]
[ThirdFirstL has joined]
[FoxyFriends has joined]
PressSexy: Pocafuckinhontas???  Why does he do this shit to me? 
TRex: Calm-
PressSexy: Don't you dare tell me to calm down you f***ing dinosaur!  There are 30 crazy-ass reporters out there and he gives me Pocahontas?  My kid spews less shit than comes out of his mouth.  And it makes more sense! POCA-F***INK-HONTAS!
ThirdFirstL: Now, eet eez not zat bad.
PressSexy:You can't post on Facebook!  For 2 F***ING years, we've been saying, Christmas is back! No more Happy Holidays s**t.  What do you do????  F***ING Happy Holidays! It's a GOD DAMN Christmas Card that is suppose to show the spirit of the Christmas and manipulate those f***ing fundamentalists!  Jesus Christ!
ThirdFirstL: But
PressSexy: Don't but me.  Here, it's simple.  You know how you dropped your clothes for pictures?  Happy Holidays is your clothes.  DROP THEM.  Merry Christmas is that bear skin rug.  WRAP your self in it.  How F***ING hard is it to get some GOD DAMN religion in F***ING-Christmas?
ThirdFirstL: You can't talk to me zat way!
PressSexy: Listen up.  You're one visit away from immigration and trip back home to Russia.
TRex: Slovenia
PressSexy: F*** off, T.  I've got a killer hangover and I haven't seen a real meal in months.  DO you know what it does to you when you drink your breakfast?  I don't even have time to taste lunch.  I have to chug it and then go out and talk to those bastards!  Dinner?  What the hell is dinner?  Bloody Mary's because the Nazi Dr is riding ma ass about vegetables.
TRex: GeneralS, talk to her.
GeneralS: I do not recall attending this meeting.
PressSexy: Great!  What else could go f***ing wrong today?
FoxyFriends: What up my bitches????
PressSexy: I'll kill her.  Right here and now.  No one will care.  We'll just turn static on and F***ing moron will think it's a snow storm.
FoxyFriends: Don't you want the good news?
PressSexy: Sure, hit me.
FoxyFriends: the pussy grabbing tape.  It's a fake!
TRex: What?
GeneralS: The tapes at my hearings were fake too!
PressSexy: If this is a trick.
FoxyFriends: No! He said they were doctored.
Pressexy: THe same tapes he admitted to?
FoxyFriends: Yes!
PressSexy: The same tapes that match his voice?
FoxyFriends: Yes!!
PressSexy: These are the tapes were be bragged about grabbing women by the pussy?
FoxyFriends: Yes!  All fake!
PressSexy: He has proof?
FoxyFriends: Of Course.  Undoubtable proof!
PressSexy: Oh f**k, let me guess.  His proof is he said so.
FoxyFriends: It is air tight!  I've already leaked it to the press and they are on board.
PressSexy: I hate you.  With the little part of my soul I still have, I hate you. 
TRex: We can cancel the press conference.
PressSexy: Are you kidding?  I got this down to a system.  I get drunk, go out and lie for 20 minutes and they ask f***ing stupid questions.  I don't see why they are surprised.  The F***ing Moron lies. SpiceMan lied.  I Lie, everyone here lies.  Why in the hell would they expect anything different?  I'm outta here ya'll.  I need my cheery juice.
[PressSexy has left]